i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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