i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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