My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
