i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
