I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
