Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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