Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
