I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
