Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
