Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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