Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He shit in the fireplace
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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