All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
