She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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