I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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