Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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