That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
