What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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