If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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