My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
