Christians are straight up FREAKS
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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