I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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