i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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