we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize