it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
