On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
