is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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