I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We need to get me chipped asap
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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