Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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