I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
