He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
