I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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