Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
