TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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