is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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