belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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