I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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