Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
