BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
two words: eviction party
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
