OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
