Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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