I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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