Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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