Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
