He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
