I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
