Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
