she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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