We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
