seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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