you would pick up someone in the library
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
