And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
