Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Send help, water and tortillas.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
