As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize