Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
