No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
