omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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