Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
did i walk over a car last night?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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