we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
