Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
