i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
