how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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