if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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