The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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