tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
