Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
