writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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