OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
